I really need to vent

ok so I when I first came to this site over a year ago I was originally asked by Melaura aka Daughter of Nyx our great site owner had asked me to join and to help her out because I know how to run a site and she needed my help. I soon fell in love with the site and the people on here. But I soon started to have major personal issues and people hated me for "bringing them onto the site" because I was supposed to know the difference between site life and real life. So people who I held dear to my heart turned against me. Then I got mad when some people got places of power that I felt they did not diserve or places of power that I felt like I had worked hard for and had earned. So I left the site OF MY OWN FREE WILL. You probably see a lot of posts made by "guest" yes that guest was me. I had like over 1,000 posts or something at one time. But I left because I wasnt happy plus I was having major personal issues. Then I came back like 6 months later and I saw that a Mod had been saying rude, untrue nasty things about me from things on another site that I run. At first I didt say anything I came on and looked around the site and read the mean hateful things she had said. I didnt say anything back because unlike her I didnt want to cause drama. Then she pushed me to the limit and said really really really mean things about me so I defended myself & after that I left the site again but this time I didnt delete my account. I later found out that even though I had made no posts hadnt done anything to upset the site the mods & admins were planning on banning me just cause they were afraid that I would cause drama when it was not me causeing the drama it was a staff member. A person that you look up to to uphold the rules of this site and set an example. A few months later I was talking to one of the mods on facebook about this site and I realized that I missed it and I came back. No one had been on in months. It was like a ghost town. But I came on every single day to see if anyone had made any new posts. Since I was not a staff member I didnt do aany posts or anything like that. But this site was always a thing I checked I sometimes came on several times a day. When I found out Melaura had internet and was back on the site I was so happy and instantly checked the site and was happy with the people that were coming on. Then yesterday an admin Pmed me asking me to join her site. Since I had no issues with her and I wanted to join another site where I could meet cool people and have fun and talk about books that I loved I joined and did the whole introduce myself thing. Then today when I went back on to my account I found out that I had been banned. I was very upset and I cried all afternoon. I hadnt done anything wrong to the site or the people on it. But the owner had promised her staff that she wouldnt let me on. When I found that out I was pissed! I was like u personally PMed me asking me to join!!!! if you hadnt done that I wouldnt have joined!!!! It was stupid and rude!!!! expecially since the people she had promised she would ban me start more drama than I do. I personally feel like I have changed since everyone knew me. I even went and contacted people who I had issues with and appologized!!!! We formed friendships again!!! then all of a sudden they turned against me FOR NO REASON. & these people are adults in their 30's married with children aand I was acting more adult than they were!!!! its just stupid!!! People cant even look past the old me & see that I have clearly changed. Dont believe me? have a conversation with me thaat lasts longer than 5 minutes.

I know which site you are talking about and the PM was sent to every member of the forum, so she couldn't have removed just you or anyone else she didn't want on...just saying, not defending her or anything.

I know who you are talking about also and I hate that after not being on so long my PM box is spamed because of her. I have so many unread messages from her that if anyone else had sent me something IMPORTANT I never got it unless it was recently sent. Isn't there a thing about spamming? sorry my brain is mush while morning sickness is kicking my butt. I'm still trying to keep my head strait.

Mel gave her permission to send messages asking people to join her site, but I think she also like hit the send button multiple times when her comp was going slow...I got really annoyed by it too..

Yea....I was very pissed when I opened up my PM's but they where all at different times. LIke some I got where like 15-30 min if not more apart. That's why I was wondering.

I think she sent one to every usergroup...now theres a group all members are in by default but there wasn't before...thats probably what happened there...either way its annoying..